Tempted to find a highly valuable, seven-hundred-pound chess set, hapless crook John Dortmunder musters his merry band of fellow ne'er-do-wells on a haphazard treasure hunt that prompts his investigation of Russia's last czar.

Specialist in the scam, the con, and the rip-off, Jerry Manelli is running around New York hot on the trail of a priest a thousand-year-old, two-foot-tall, ugly, misshapen, dancing Aztec priest made of solid gold, with eyes of pure emeralds, worth a million dollars. Somebody stole it from its museum home in South America and smuggled it through U. S. Customs in a shipment of plastic imitations. But the wrong one got delivered, and the million dollar...

While awaiting trial for a federal crime, Meehan, a career thief, is approached by a representative from the president's re-election campaign, who offers to have all charges against him dropped if he will steal a compromising video tape.